I love gender and am firmly interested in my wife, but I’ve found it extremely difficult which will make love to the girl. Im afraid of obtaining bacteria or contracting an illness from her. I am sure she is loyal in my experience and I haven’t any actual reason to believe she might have some thing i really could get, but i recently are unable to stop obsessing about it and apply antiseptic to myself personally as we’ve had intimate contact. It isn’t merely body liquids which make me personally stressed, actually kissing is hard for my situation. We’ve merely been hitched for just two months and my spouse, who had been unaware of my issue until our very own wedding night, has expected us to get some help.

Your problem isn’t about gender. You have an emotional condition called Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). It requires having some compulsions you cannot manage that cause significant problems in your daily life. It’s also possible to have intrusive thoughts, or rituals you simply can’t prevent (such as for example checking or coming in contact with specific things) various other areas of your life besides lovemaking. OCD is treatable (with cognitive behavioural treatment), and it also is wise to look for some help from a mental-health expert straight away. I’d additionally advise that you are seeking couple therapy. It isn’t really possible for a spouse in order to comprehend that individuals with OCD usually are uncomfortable of their obsessive behaviour, and then try to cover their own disorder, as you have done. Your wife, besides feeling troubled that your particular sexual life is actually unsatisfactory, might feel crazy, rejected or betrayed by you. Act now to save the wedding.

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Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a clinical psychologist and psychotherapist which specialises for sexual issues.